Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others:
- My son is a home builder and he”s so successful that he gave a friend a new home – for free.
The second man said:
- My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He’s so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs.
The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged:
- My son is a stock broker and he’s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio.
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned,
- We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing ???
The fourth man replied:
- Well, my son is gay. I”m not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a HOUSE, TWO CARS, and a STOCK PORTFOLIO !!!
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Dublin, and says to the first man he meets,
- Do you want to go to heaven?
The man said
- I do Father
The priest said,
- Then stand over there against the wall
Then the priest asked the second man
- Do you want to got to heaven?
- Certainly, Father! was the man’s reply.
- Then stand over there against the wall! said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said
- Do you want to go to heaven?
O’Toole said
- No, I don’t Father!
The priest said,
- I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?
O’Toole said .
- Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go RIGHT NOW!
There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?”
The man says, “I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend.”
The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.
The bartenders asks, “What’s wrong this time?”
The man says, “I just found out that my son is gay.”
The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.
Then the bartender asks, “Doesn’t anyone in your family like women?”
The man looks up and says, “Apprently my wife does!”