hniw.us On life in Seattle and things best left unsaidお化粧はどしたの芸者さん

More quickly than I would have anticipated, the first year of my graduate career has come to a close.  What that means for me is that I no longer have to be plagued by the dual (or triple) task of research and class (or TAing, with any luck).  It wasn’t bad until this past spring quarter when I actually began to spend more time in the lab.  Seeing everyone else working, I wanted to work too and before I knew it, class had ceased to be this daily ritual that I enjoyed, but rather this chore that continually interrupted more important work to be done in the lab.  With one small exception, I can now proudly say that shall no longer be the case.  I finished a revision for my term paper, due Wednesday and as of this moment, I am a free man.  My time is now my own, the spend in the lab as I see fit.

A good thing, too, as I’ll be getting a student to mentor for the summer and possibly more in the fall.  It is an experience that I’m looking forward to.  One of the things that I need to work on during these next four years are my managerial skills so the sooner I get my minions, the better.  If I can find one enamored with organic synthesis, all the better, as I might be able to place all of that work on them, following some training.  Which means that I will have to learn more organic synthesis than I currently do.  That is something I’m not looking forward to, but I am stoked about the Steglich Esterification I’ll be doing next week.  If all goes well, I’ll get my desired ester using a much simpler, and much more to my like, process than the two other proposed ways.

On a side note, I have a couch bum.  I refer to him as a bum only because they have spent nearly the last month complaining about having no job while doing little (that I’ve been able to witness) to remedy the situation.  Even a temporary outage of our internet connection wasn’t enough to get them out of the house and away from the slavebox.  They simply changed to playing a game that was equally as fun on single-player mode as they multiplayer games they are now back to playing.  What amazes me is that I stopped rooming with said individual over two years ago because of similar behavior.  To think, well over two years later and there has been absolutely no growth at all.  It really saddens me.

Love the one you’re with, or so the lyrics go.  In my time here in Seattle, I am finding that to be easier said than done.  The major fallacy in such logic is that it assumes that there is someone for you to be with in lieu of the one you love.  Unfortunately, I do no have that luxury.  I tried by way of a dog, but I am not a dog person and I have no patience for dogs.  I much prefer the demeanor of cats, as fickle as they may be, and my lifestyle did not mesh well with a small creature that constantly sought validation for its existence.  Now the dog is doing much better in the place I wish I were, no longer subject to my changing moods or strict discipline.  So I am back to being alone, and still unhappy with the situation that I now find myself in.  But thinking that a dog could fill the void that often forms when I find myself alone was a mistake on my part.  Lucky for me, the one I love is a dog person and the one that I really purchased the dog for, following the loss of her family pet.  He isn’t a perfect replacement, but I do feel validated in the purchase in seeing the joy he brings to both hers and her mother’s life, despite the fact that her mother is some 1700 miles away.

So what is a person, suffering from bipolar disorder, to do in such a situation.  I could turn to random strangers – by way of craigslist – to fill the void, as I’ve had no success making any real connections with my peers.  Or I could turn to the bottle and reacquaint myself with my friends Daniels and Morgan, loosing myself in research and other unmentionables.  It isn’t a very satisfying existence, but in the absence of anyone to talk to or connect with, we have to make due with what we have.  And I figured I should do so while I can before I decide to return to the medications that I’ve not felt I needed until I found myself revisiting dark places better left forgotten.